Music can have a profound effect on my state of mind. From Slipknot through Motley Crue to Buzzcocks and Glen Miller; I listen to a wide variety of genres. I have playlists set up for various situations that can mitigate a high or low mood and I know what to avoid when. Listening to Slipknot or Korn when I’m already angry/raging for example is a big no-go. Music can be a huge trigger.
A part of my psychotic delusion was believing that musicians were passing messages to me via their songs. Dresden Dolls ‘Gravity’ was telling me that gravity was not real; Owl City’s ‘Galaxies’ cemented the knowledge of the universe in my head. I called the singers ‘prophets’ and listened to the songs on repeat for hours. Even now I try to avoid listening to those songs.
Music also has a way of bringing us into a good space. My friend Dave introduced me to country music and together we created a playlist of songs that have an association with talking with him. If I am struggling or stressed I put on my Dave playlist and it soothes my mind.
Memories can be triggered by certain songs. If I listen to punk or psychobilly I’m reminded of my teenage years and spending hours in my friend’s house. Listening to 80s rock takes me back to the time my husband and I saw a host of great bands at a festival. The Bee Gees brings my childhood back and I remember singing along with my little brother at the top of our voices. ‘Forever in Blue Jeans’ was hubs’ and my wedding dance.
I am always on the lookout for new music that has positive associations. Lately that has meant listening to guilty pleasures type songs and dancing in the flat with my husband. If I’m having a bad day at work I’ll stick on a few of our dancing tunes and feel the smile creep onto my face.