I haven’t been writing so much on the blog lately – mostly due to needing to use my words for the book-to-be. I submitted the first couple of chapters to a publisher and they have expressed interest in the full manuscript; very exciting, but I
maybe… kinda… definitely don’t have it in a form I am happy to submit yet. The pressure is on. Being who I am I’ve set myself a deadline of around 3 weeks to get it sent over for review. Equally, being me I’ve also decided that I want this to be a ‘proper’ book (read: not a short story as it was originally, and not a novella).
I’m enjoying working on it, but I am having to tread carefully too. Because it is a re-imagining of my journey with Eve I find that accessing certain memories can be kind of triggering. This story is written from the very deepest depths of my mind and it is therapeutic and upsetting in turn. The key thing for me to do is ensure I’m keeping an eye on the red flags and keeping my husband in the loop – making sure that the right people know what I’m working on and know what to watch for.
Generally, though, I’ve actually not been too bad! I think I’m on day 5 of a good run. It’s lovely to be able to focus my energies on being creative; it means I have an outlet when I feel myself running hot (like I am right now!).
In other news; I saw my psych nurse late last week and the personality disorders team are accepting my referral to them. For reasons no one could explain, they are passing me back to CMHRS first. Nope, not a clue why… Even K couldn’t understand it. It does mean that I am now coming to the end of my time with EiIP – after 3 years under their amazing care it is time to move on to a new team. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and from there it’ll be around 5 – 7 weeks until I’m under CMHRS.
I was supposed to start on Sodium Valproate this week too but there’s no sign of the prescription yet. I am hoping it’ll help smooth things out – and I’m praying that it won’t stifle my creativity. In terms of functioning it will be a good thing though. I’m trying to reassure my boss that it’ll be OK to add more tasks to my workload; it is hard to explain to him that my worst days are the quietest ones. He admitted to me he’s afraid of overloading me and then losing me for two weeks to stress.
I hope all you lovely readers are as well as it is possible to be 🙂