The stay-cation is over; I am back at my desk and it already feels like a distant memory. The week off was a wonderful and much-needed rest. It was appreciated. But I forgot just how tedious this job really is.
The problem lies with my supervisor – a really good guy – and his ‘concern’ for me. About 6 weeks ago we had a conversation in which I requested more responsibility and a heavier workload; his reply was that he is nervous of over-loading me and losing me to sickness. Read: he thinks I’ll have a mental breakdown if I get stressed.
What I can’t get him to understand is that the long, quiet days cause me more stress than my time spend working at break-neck pace ever did. I crave excitement, pressure; I am unashamedly a fantastic corporate firefighter! The hours I spend here are, by contrast, routine and unchallenging. I rarely talk to anyone (colleagues included because of my desk position). I miss the variety. I miss making connections with customers. Most of all, I miss being mentally stimulated.
The issue is that having a secondary psyche is that idleness is a trigger. Filling my life with activity gives me the best chances of Eve keeping her head down. At home it isn’t such a problem, but when 10:30am rolls around and I’ve completed my tasks; well then there’s an issue! We are good at co-habiting in this body but the longer I let my mind wander, the more she takes over. Lately things have been so wonderfully stable; I don’t want what is basically boredom to be the deal-breaker.
I am unsure what to do about this situation; I don’t know how to broach the subject with my supervisor. Our head of department has scheduled in 1-to-1 meetings with each team member – mine isn’t until July 15th. I need to get this sorted long before then; that, or find an alternative.