It’s one of those things that really shouldn’t bother me, but Colleague X’s cold shoulder isn’t thawing. And really, really-really-really, I don’t care. But I do. I suspect I’d normally just shrug it off as one of those ‘you can’t win everyone over’ things; given how pants I am feeling this week so far, I am struggling to do that.
In truth, it is probably something to do with the fact that I’m not entirely sure what I’ve done to deserve this. I am of the opinion that you can have professional disagreements and still remain courteous. There’s no need to take things personally when you’re at work; and the only sin I committed (still not a sin in my mind) was to back up one of my old client’s emails.
It simply makes me feel like a less-than-worthy human. Not worth a ‘Hi’ or ‘Morning’. Not even worth eye contact when we pass in the corridor. And it’s a determined, steely silence; she was with another colleague just now and he said ‘Hi’ to me as they passed. From her – nothing – like I was invisible, like I don’t exist.
And once again I find myself coming back round to the ‘I really shouldn’t care about this’ argument. I shouldn’t! So why do I? Why does this bother me so much? I want to shake it off, but I find myself mired in whys. It’s not even like I want to be her best friend; I just want to be acknowledged as a fellow human.