It’s kind of like having a broken arm, and trying to ignore it. You pretend not to notice the pain, because if you focus on it too much you end up wanting to cut the damn thing off. Occasionally you think about asking a doctor to check it and fix it, but you know that they will just send you away and put a note on your file: “attention seeking pill addict”. You know the pain is there but no one else sees how bad it is. Eventually it becomes overwhelming and you realize you’re going to ed whatever it takes. You take everything and anything you can find and wind up in hospital, where you cry in pain whilst you tell the emergency doctor about your broken arm. He reads your file, shrugs his shoulders and sends you home with advice: “stay distracted and think positively”.
You go back to pretending your arm is fine.